4 Ways to Maintain Passion in Your Long-Distance Relationship

by | Feb 25, 2019 | Relationships + Sex

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The following article is a guest post by Matilda Davies, a freelance writer. You can see more of her work HERE.


Approximately 14 million people in the US are in long-distance relationships, and with the proliferation of online dating, that number is expected to grow. While the long-distance relationship can bring with it wonderful benefits: independence, flexibility, the anticipation that builds as you approach being together again. But long-distance relationship can also suffer from the separation.

Here are 4 ways you can maintain passion in a long-distance relationship.

Use the distance to your advantage

Therapist Esther Perel writes in Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence that emotional intimacy thrives in proximity but that physical passion needs distance and separate to maintain itself.

That’s why when seeing your partner after a long period of separation, you may find yourself wanting to take them immediately! That time apart has allowed passion to bloom. Even couple who live together or at least in the same town may even recognize that scenario—or its opposite. While the distance can be difficult, it may actually help some couples maintain passion over a longer period of time. 


Start a secret message thread

Start an email account or message thread for passionate messages. It should stay separate from your normal means of communication. Here, you’re allowed to say whatever you like about your desires, tastes, passions, preferences, fantasies. You might even consider creating alternate identities so you feel more comfortable expressing yourself.

This secret message thread can help you build up some steam between you and your partner and grow in your emotional intimacy. And don’t limit yourself to evening chatter—send steamy lunchtime messages too.

While a long-distance #relationships can bring wonderful benefits, the distance and separation may add extra strain on the relationship.

Make dinner dates


Make it a point to eat dinner together once a week—virtually. Seeingeach other regularly is important in a long-distance relationship, so video chat your partner and have dinner from no matter where you are. The somewhat mundane act is a way to foster emotional closeness and comfortable familiarity with your long-distance partner.


Steam it up when you see each other 


2018 survey reported that couples who have sex outside the bedroom report being 10.5% more satisfied with their relationships and 33% more satisfied with their sex lives than couples who keep romance to the bedroom alone. So the next time you see each other, put that built-up passion to good use—you may find that your relationship satisfaction is better for it.

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While a long-distance #relationships can bring wonderful benefits, the distance and separation may add extra strain on the relationship.